T3ch Palace

The following is an actual conversation. This really, unfortunately occurred. There are no actors here, impersonations, or exaggerations. The Caller really is that stupid…..

Caller: I’m having trouble with my email.

Me : Okay are you able to send or receive? Or do you get an error message?

Caller: I don’t know ?

Me : <FacePalm> Okay… What are you using to receive your email? Is it a Mail Client on your computer or are you using webmail?

Caller: I’m using Windows.

Me: <thinking of course you are you give us all a bad name>Okay. Well how do you read your email then?

Caller: From my computer.

Me: <FaceKeyboardSmash>What does the Icon read when you check the email.

Caller: Um…..Windows Express….

Me: Outlook Express?

Caller: Um….. yeah.

Me: Okay… go into your Outlook.

Caller: Outlook Express right?

Me: <grinding my teeth while keeping the cheap smile there>Yes Sir, Outlook Express.

Caller: Okay. Click didn’t work…. I can click it again….

Me: Yes, sometimes it takes a double click to open up programs in your computer.

Caller: Okay, What do I do now?

Me: Well have you set up an email account for your Outlook to pick up?

Caller: I don’t know if I did that.

Me: What is your domain please?

Caller: insert-idiotic-domain-name-here.org

Me: Okay from what I can see you did set up email accounts in the control panel we provided for you.

Caller: So why aren’t they working then?

Me: Well when you create the email address of your choice you get a message telling you that you successfully set up an email account for your domain and it asks if you would like the settings to configure your mail client with Outlook, Thunderbird, etc. And it lists those settings for you. There are four settings that you input and they are all pretty standard with most hosting companies.

Caller: Okay. So just put in ****host for all those?

Me: No. For your username input the email address you set up. Then in the incoming and outgoing mail server input : mail.insert-idiotic-domain-name-here.org and ….

Caller: Not ****host for that then?

Me: <AHHHHHHHHHH!!> No if  you input that then your email will not work.

Caller: Oh… I see…..

Went through rest of simple settings with him…. Sent a test message to him.

Caller: I didn’t get it.

Me: Can you click the “Send/Receive” button?

Caller: No cuz I don’t know where that is… Is it in my computer?

Me: It’s located in the Outlook Express, Sir.

Caller: I didn’t get anything…

Me: Can you send me a blank message?

Caller: No!… It says “Message Subject line and Body are empty do you still wish to send?”

Me: Just say “OK”.

Caller: Okay.

Me: Did  you click “OK”?

Caller: Yes.

Me: Is it in your Outbox?

Caller: Yes.

After a few mins. Still stuck in Outbox.

CHristen [1:55:19 PM]: Hello ! How can I assist you ?

QUESTION PLEEZ [1:55:19 PM]: IT&#39;S FREE OR NOT?

CHristen [1:55:21 PM]: hi

QUESTION PLEEZ [1:56:09 PM]: I DONT HI….JUST TELL ME IT’S FREE OR NOT?

[1:56:40 PM]: ASK ME

[1:56:49 PM]: ANSWER ME…

[1:56:52 PM]: SORRY

[1:57:15 PM]: DO YOU HEAR ME

[1:57:16 PM]: ?

[1:58:03 PM]: ?

[1:58:07 PM]: ?

[1:58:12 PM]: ?

[1:58:13 PM]: ?

[1:58:44 PM]: I CALL MY UNCLE….

[1:58:49 PM]: ITS A COP

[1:59:02 PM]: ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

[1:59:06 PM]: PLEASE

CHristen [1:59:22 PM]: we do not provide free hosting.

[1:59:27 PM]: hosting does cost money.

QUESTION PLEEZ [1:59:55 PM]: WHY YOU ARE SO FAST!!!!

[2:00:20 PM]: IM WAITING AN HOUR

CHristen [2:00:57 PM]: Ok. Well Your questions don’t really make sense.

QUESTION PLEEZ [2:01:17 PM]: LISTEN ME CAREFULL….

[2:01:26 PM]: IM FROM GREECE

[2:01:35 PM]: OK?

CHristen [2:01:40 PM]: ok

QUESTION PLEEZ [2:02:23 PM]: MY FATHER WAS PAPAFLESAS

[2:02:40 PM]: AND I WANT TO PAY FOR ME!!!!!

CHristen [2:02:59 PM]: ok

[2:03:18 PM]: then have him signup for you on our homepage where it reads SIGN UP NOW.

QUESTION PLEEZ [2:03:50 PM]: NO,MY FATHER IS DEAD…

CHristen [2:04:37 PM]: ok

[2:04:47 PM]: well then how do you know that he wants to pay for your hosting?

QUESTION PLEEZ [2:04:57 PM]: ITS NOT FUNNY!!!!

[2:04:59 PM]: AND I WANT TO MAKE A WEBPAGE…WITH FOTOS OF HIM AT THE SEMETERY!!!!!!!!!!

CHristen [2:05:11 PM]: I am not laughing.

[2:05:29 PM]: I am not making jokes about this.

QUESTION PLEEZ [2:05:29 PM]: NO YOU PAY FOR ME…

CHristen [2:05:48 PM]: Just I thought you said that HE was going to pay for the site for you.

QUESTION PLEEZ [2:06:25 PM]: NO YOU PAY FOR ME!!!!

[2:07:10 PM]: DO YOU LISTEN ME….

[2:07:18 PM]: ?

CHristen [2:07:28 PM]: I am not going to pay for you.

QUESTION PLEEZ [2:08:01 PM]: YES,YOU PAY FOR ME AND YOU KNOW IT….

[2:08:14 PM]: TSOUTSOUNI!!!!!!!!!!!

CHristen [2:08:16 PM]: No. YOu can signup and pay for the hosting. I am not going to pay for you.

[2:08:47 PM]: We do not offer free hosting, nor am I going to donate money to pay for your hosting from my personal funds.

QUESTION PLEEZ [2:09:09 PM]: LISTEN….YOU PAY FOR ME AND I BUY FOR YOU A GREEK SOUVLAKI(APO OLLA)

[2:09:26 PM]: HOW YOU THINK NOW?

[2:09:43 PM]: AHHH

CHristen [2:10:01 PM]: no

QUESTION PLEEZ [2:10:11 PM]: ITS GOOD OFFER!!!!

CHristen [2:10:16 PM]: I cannot continue this discussion.

QUESTION PLEEZ [2:10:17 PM]: THINK IT!!!

CHristen [2:10:18 PM]: sorry.

[2:10:22 PM]: BYE.

QUESTION PLEEZ [2:10:25 PM]: OK OK

[2:10:34 PM]: I UNDERSTAND

CHristen [2:10:38 PM]: ok

Question: Peace be upon you I Ayed al-Ahmad from Bahrain I&#39;m mediate with some Alastdavat Do you want to bring you to the hosting customers? What are hearing your

Christian [11:17:20 AM]: Hello ! How can I assist you ?

QUESTION [11:17:20 AM]: Peace be upon you I Ayed al-Ahmad from Bahrain I&#39;m mediate with some Alastdavat Do you want to bring you to the hosting customers? What are hearing your

[11:17:40 AM]: hi

Christian [11:17:50 AM]: can you resend the rest of your question

QUESTION [11:18:19 AM]: I,m Ayed al-Ahmad from Bahraine

Christian [11:18:26 AM]: ok

[11:18:27 AM]: hi

QUESTION [11:18:51 AM]: I’m mediate with some Alastdavat

Christian [11:19:02 AM]: ok

QUESTION [11:19:08 AM]: Do you want to bring you to the hosting customers?

Christian [11:19:55 AM]: ok

[11:20:08 AM]: you can signup as an affiliate

Christian [11:20:13 AM]:

***host.com offers one of the most rewarding Affiliate Programs available on the web today. By driving customers to sign-up at ***host.com, you will receive $65.00 per referral. here are a few additional terms:

1. In order to be paid your client(s) must use your affiliate link.
2. Your client(s) must keep the account for at least 90 days.
3. We pay by check and you must have at least 2 clients before we payout.

Click here to open an Affiliate Account!

QUESTION [11:21:15 AM]: ok

[11:22:26 AM]: How can you identify the parties to be?

Christian [11:23:13 AM]: well you would find the parties to signup and we give you $65 per sign up

[11:23:19 AM]: that stay for 90days or longer.

QUESTION [11:24:58 AM]: Authorized remember the names of Al-Ahmad Al-Ayed

Christian [11:25:09 AM]: ok.

[11:25:20 AM]: I’m really having a hard time understanding you.

QUESTION [11:25:56 AM]: In the near future will bring you customers

Christian [11:26:59 AM]: ok

QUESTION [11:27:13 AM]: Do not know English fluently

[11:27:41 AM]: But will bring you good information

Christian [11:28:20 AM]: ok

[11:28:22 AM]: great

QUESTION [11:28:23 AM]: To the meeting, I return close to you

Christian [11:28:29 AM]: ok

QUESTION [11:28:39 AM]: bay

Christian [11:28:43 AM]: bye

Christian [8:18:10 AM]: Hello ! How can I assist you ?

SALES QUESTION [8:18:10 AM]: ITS FREE OR NOT?

Christian [8:18:13 AM]: we dont’ have free hosting

SALES QUESTION [8:18:33 AM]: ITS FREE OR NOT?

Christian [8:18:40 AM]: We do NOT have free hosting

SALES QUESTION [8:19:01 AM]: WHY YOU REPEAT ME?

Christian [8:19:14 AM]: Because you asked the same question twice.

SALES QUESTION [8:19:51 AM]: BY THE WAY

[8:20:18 AM]: AAAA OK

[8:20:19 AM]: WHY DO YOU HAVENT FREE DOMAIN?

Christian [8:20:42 AM]: we do give you a free domain when you signup for a 12month hosting plan or longer.

SALES QUESTION [8:21:44 AM]: DOY YOU HEAR ME

[8:21:45 AM]: I DONT HAVE MONEY TO PAY…AND I WANT A DOMAIN

Christian [8:21:59 AM]: We don’t give you a free domain if you don’t signup for hosting.

[8:22:05 AM]: Yes I hear you.

[8:22:26 AM]: If you don’t have money to signup and pay for a 12month hosting account then you cannot have a free domain.

SALES QUESTION : DO YOU HAVE WEB CAMERA?

Christian [8:24:31 AM]: I am sorry I am not able to give out any personal info. I only have time to answer prospective client’s and there questions regarding our hosting. If you have further questions related to our hosting please continue.

SALES QUESTION : CANYOU HELP ME WITH THAT/

DO YOU HAVE MONEY?

Christian [8:26:09 AM]: No. I’m not giving you money.

[8:26:22 AM]: I cannot give you a free domain unless you pay and signup for a hosting account.

SALES QUESTION : OK

CAN YOU PAY FOR ME!

Christian [8:28:24 AM]: No.

[8:28:28 AM]: I cannot pay for you.

[8:28:38 AM]: you must come up with your own money to pay

SALES QUESTION : TELL ME PLEASE…

Christian [8:28:58 AM]: NO

[8:29:05 AM]: I AM NOT GOING TO PAY FOR YOU

[8:29:18 AM]: You need to pay for the hosting on your own

Christy [11:49:32 AM]: Hello ! How can I assist you ?

Sims QUestion [11:49:32 AM]: i have been told to come on this web by a friend for my teen sim to have a kid she has a boyfriend but i just want to download the sims2 hack i dont even care about anything else and i stayed up all night to try and find a sim2 hack and if i cant get one h

Christy [11:49:57 AM]: can you resend the rest of your question please?

Sims QUestion [11:50:43 AM]: do you know were i can get a sims2 hack from

Christy [11:51:07 AM]: hmm, does this teen have a stable relationship with this boyfriend?”

Sims QUestion [11:51:18 AM]: yes

Christy [11:51:22 AM]: can he support a child and finish highschool at the same time?

Sims QUestion [11:52:08 AM]: yes because he is half way through his teens

Christy [11:52:33 AM]: hmmm is he over the age of 18 ?

Sims QUestion [11:52:43 AM]: yes

Christy [11:53:09 AM]: than that is not legal if she is under 18

[11:53:19 AM]: she could sue him.

[11:53:24 AM]: put him in jail.

Sims QUestion [11:54:42 AM]: so

[11:56:04 AM]: and i am bofered y

Christy [11:56:33 AM]: eh?

Sims QUestion [11:57:05 AM]: i am not bofered

Christy [11:57:44 AM]: that does not make sense.

Sims QUestion [11:58:18 AM]: can you tell me were i can get the sims2 hack

Christy [11:58:39 AM]: that is not something we support.

[11:58:49 AM]: you will have to search google .com or something

Sims QUestion [11:58:58 AM]: kk

Christy [11:59:03 AM]: bye

LM [10:21:02 AM]: Hello how are you today?

FIRST TIME QUESTION [10:21:02 AM]: how can i get a girl?

LM [10:21:13 AM]: Stop being a dork who bugs people in live caht and get a real life

FIRST TIME QUESTION [10:21:18 AM]: nop

[10:21:22 AM]: nop

[10:21:27 AM]: nope

LM. [10:21:28 AM]: Wrong answert then i guess peace out homie

-----------------

Christan [10:23:13 AM]: Hello! Thank you for contacting the Sales team, How can I assist you?
FIRST TIME QUESTION [10:23:13 AM]: i wanna do suicide.. is there any suicide hotline? i really dont want this but maybe i can get one chance more..
Christan [10:23:30 AM]: Fem bot cannot compute
FIRST TIME QUESTION [10:23:36 AM]: what?
Christan [10:23:45 AM]: Fem bot cannot compute
[10:23:56 AM]: FATAL ERROR 997HB
FIRST TIME QUESTION [10:24:04 AM]: ii dont understand

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I wish I could take credit for this…. But I cannot.

go theCHAD.

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Christian [11:45:42 AM]: Hello ! How can I assist you ?
Enriqu [11:45:42 AM]: Help spanish
Christian [11:45:46 AM]: we speak english ONLY.
Enriqu [11:45:59 AM]: no chingles
[11:46:37 AM]: by
Christian [11:46:59 AM]: ?
[11:47:00 AM]: bye

Christian [11:12:28 AM]: Hello ! How can I assist you ?

USER QUESTION [11:12:28 AM]: I told You I am not Export in computer, like creating my owne Web site, like any advertisement what is product, how sell, whom to contact and other any business matter i can only read this e mail or sending mails only i know this 2 I need only concerent th

Christian [11:13:11 AM]: Can you resend the rest of your question?

USER QUESTION [11:16:43 AM]: I can able to reading mails and sending e mails Or i will give you Many of my friends e mail IDs That to Providing your formet.

[11:18:15 AM]: I can able to reading e mails and sending e mails Or i will give you Many of my friends e mail IDs That to Providing your formet.

Christian [11:20:21 AM]: Okay your question does not make sense.

USER QUESTION [11:20:24 AM]: Otherwise you give me easy idia i will try to do that

[11:22:19 AM]: Okay till me what job i have to do for earning money

Christian [11:22:31 AM]: okay we can provide hosting and give you 2500 emails

USER QUESTION [11:23:50 AM]: when i have to give 2500 e mails

[11:25:18 AM]: when i have to give 2500 e mails

Christian [11:26:12 AM]: well you can host with us we provide 2500 email accounts.

USER QUESTION [11:27:06 AM]: I can able to give you daily 20 e mails OK

Christian [11:27:27 AM]: okay.

USER QUESTION [11:28:49 AM]: Then you Provide me formet to entering e mail IDs

[11:30:16 AM]: Then you Provide me formet to entering e mail IDs

Christian [11:30:50 AM]: ?

USER QUESTION [11:32:05 AM]: I am sending daily 20 e mails to you how much money i can get.

Christian [11:32:24 AM]: that’s fine you can send that with our services.

[11:32:35 AM]: We offer a great hosting package. The price varies based on the length of time you sign up for; however, all of the features offered are the same.

Hosting Features :
*****host.com/tell_me_more.html

Detailed Pricing:

http://help*****host.com/kb/index.php?x=&mod_id=2&id=162

Payment Methods Accepted:

http://help****host.com/kb/index.php?x=&mod_id=2&id=505

In order to sign up for this package you can go to this link:

*****host.com/sign_up_now.html

Christian [10:39:59 AM]: Hello ! How can I assist you ?

Kamerann [10:39:59 AM]: I tried to see a demo of your services. It asks for domain &amp; password. I provided my website address &#x28;only one I have&#x29;. It failed. <br>Questions:<br>1&#x29; why is it necessary to type in Dmain &amp; Passwrod i

Christian [10:40:29 AM]: you need to enable your cache and cookies in your browser then you can go back to the demo and get in.

Kamerann [10:40:56 AM]: how do I accomplish this?

Christian [10:41:47 AM]: In your browser select TOOLS and INTERNET OPTIONS

[10:42:00 AM]: you should be able to enable cookies.

Kamerann [10:43:02 AM]: Thanks. Other places in your website has the starting price at $6.95. Your adv. special is $4.95.

Christian [10:43:26 AM]: the $4.95 promo is for 24 or 36 month accounts for new clients.

[10:43:35 AM]: you would renew the account at the $6.95 mo

Kamerann [10:45:02 AM]: Thanks. Can you show me how I could see a sample of your product (new user).

Christian [10:45:30 AM]: well you can demo the cpanel through the TELL ME MORE section on our homepage. There is a DEMO CPANEL option in the Tell Me More Page.

Kamerann [10:46:54 AM]: TELL ME MORE section of my homepage? I am currently on ‘****host.com’ site.

Christian [10:47:16 AM]: okay on the *****HOST.COM site, select where it reads TELL ME MORE on the right.

Kamerann [10:48:29 AM]: Sorry! I don’t see the TELL ME MORE on the right!

Christian [10:48:55 AM]: okay.. go to http://*****host.com/tell_me_more.html

Kamerann [10:49:01 AM]: Now I see it. Thanks.

Christian [10:49:15 AM]: sure

Kamerann [10:50:39 AM]: But, when I go to Live Demo, and click on Demo Login I am told this is for your current users. What do I do next?

Christian [10:51:28 AM]: well you can explore the cPanel features

Kamerann [10:52:32 AM]: It asks me for password & … that will not accept (fails?) From this pooint, what do I do to see a sample of your product?

Christian [10:53:16 AM]: if you are getting the username and password error then that means that you need to enable CACHE / COOKIES in your browser.